Squidward's Sexy Time
by IAMASEXYMAN
Summary: The sexiest fanfiction of all time, complete with a deep and meaningful plot that will leave you speechless.
1. Chapter 1: The Sexiness Begins!

It was another day in Bikini Bottom and Squidward was playing his dildo clarinet. He removed it from his ass and begun to make horrid music with it. He started chocking on crap that was on the clarinet. Spongebob knocked on his door. Squidward quickly got his clothes back on and opened the door. His boner was so big he poked Spongebob's eye! Spongebob screamed, and Squidward gasped. Accidentally, Squidward's extra "tentacle" went into Spongebob's mouth. Spongebob knew it was wrong, but he liked it. This turned Squidward on. His dick got so big it cut through the back of Spongebob's head. Spongebob was too far into the zone to care, he kept rapidly fucking the ink out of Squidward.

Minutes later, Patrick come out of his rock to see his two best friends going at it. He let out a scream. "WHAT THE HELL", Patrick yelled. Spongebob explained to Patrick that it just happened before he knew it. Squidward offered to let Patrick join them and make it a threesome, but Patrick already had his pants off before he had made the offer. The three went into Squidward's house, and things got even more intense. Squidward was being fucked too hard! He passed out.

Patrick and Spongebob rushed Squidy to the hospital. They had made it just in time. Sadly, the Doctor could not restore Squidward's penis, so he had to give him a vagina. Spongebob and Patrick did not care that their fuckbuddy no longer had a penis, they were just happy he, now a she, was still alive. Plus this gave them all new options and ideas. When Squidward got home, He told Spongebob and Patrick to go home and that he will be fine.

Hours later, that night, Squidward got curios. He started sliding his tentacles into his new vagina rapidly. He inked all over his bed. He didn't care, he/she kept doing it. Eventually he was drowning in his/her very own ink cum. "SHIT, THE FLOOR IS STAINED", he exclaimed. He called Spongebob and Patrick over to help him clean up, but all they did was make things even more "messier". They all woke up, knocked out on the couch. There was empty beer bottles all over the floor. Patrick stuck his penis in one, and it got stuck. Spongebob tore it off, but he also tore off the penis in the process. Similar to Squidward, Patrick was rushed to the hospital and got a vagina.

Spongebob was worried. He was one of the only people he knew who still had a penis. What if everyone came to him for sexual needs? Well, he would like that, but his body can only make so much cum at once. Sandy knocked on the door. Spongebob stopped masturbating and put on his pants, and opened the door. Sandy was naked. However, her fur covered her parts. Spongebob slowly took a shaver out of his pocket. He jumped at Sandy and removed her fur, fucking her in the process. Spongebob could not believe his eyes. She had a penis as well! Spongebob was instantly happy. He was no longer the only one left in Bikini Bottom who still had a penis.

Squidward was at home. Tentacling himself again. He let out a bunch of ink. His eyes shut slowly. He breathed his last breath, and he had died. The vagina surgery went horribly wrong. Almost everyone in Bikini Bottom had had this surgery. Spongebob and Sandy were just on their way to visit Squidward. Spongebob opened to door to see a unsightly sight; Squidward, dead. Spongebob screamed, he ran over to Patrick's house. He was dead too. Spongebob went from house to house, everyone he saw was dead. There were only two survivors left in Bikini Bottom, two fuck brothers; Spongebob and Sandy.


	2. Chapter 2: The Sexy Planet Titgigantias

Many months had passed since the tragic events that took place in Bikini Bottom. There were only a few survivors including Spongebob and Sandy. There was only one person left rich enough to revive everyone... Mr... Scrooge McDuck. Unfortunately, he just recently drowned in money and died. Therefore, they would have to rely on Mr. Krabs for this. However, he only had the money to revive characters that matter to the plot, but he was the only hope.

It took days for Spongebob and Sandy to travel across the dead land of Bikini Bottom. They eventually reached Mr. Krabs, who was doing well, thanks to his money, however he wasn't gaining any since there was no one to give it to him! Spongebob and Sandy begged and begged for him to use his money to research for a way to revive people, and he eventually came to make a deal. He told Spongebob and Sandy they had to travel to the planet of Titgigantias, defeat a cruel penis eating monster, and get the Golden Dildo.

Spongebob and Sandy took Sandy's rocket into space. They had passed many giant planets until they finally reached Titgigantias. The planet was empty and bare. They traveled for days and could not find a single form of life. Eventually, a whole month passed and they found a near dying alien outside a village. He was sent to hunt for food but only made it so far before dying. It told Sandy and Spongebob their whole race was in severe danger due to a cruel carnivorous monster that ate people's penises, leading them to suicide. It also destroyed people's crops. This had to be the monster Krabs was talking about.

Spongebob and Sandy rested in the alien village. They had sexy time in an Inn all night but managed to get good shut eye. When the awoke, they prepared to fight the penis eating monster. Spongebob and Sandy were the only people with penises left, they had to avenge everyone and the aliens! As Sandy and Spongebob finished off their survival supplies, they took off. They had steel cups on just in case.

They neared the deep and dark cave. A long, slimy, and snake like monster slid out. Sandy jumped at it and violently ripped it's head off. White and red blood bled everywhere. Spongebob tried to stop Sandy, but she was too in the zone! "SANDY STOP!" Spongebob screamed. "WHAT?" Sandy screamed back. "That's not the monster... that's it's penis." Spongebb explained. The REAL monster slowly exited the cave... it cried and ran right past Spongebob and Sandy. The duo entered the cave and got the golden dildo. The planet was saved, and they got what they came for. They located the rocket they arrived on, and went home. They got back but something was wrong, Krabs was dead.


	3. Chapter 3: The Sexy Revival

After succeeding in their mission and returning home to find out it was all worth nothing, Spongebob and Sandy were stumped on what to do next. They were now the last two people left on earth, and when they realized that, it hit them: They should go back to Titgigantias and live their lifes there. Spongebob and Sandy found the rocket they used to get their the first time, but it was damaged. Sandy and Spongebob set up a plan where Sandy would repair the rocket while Spongebob finds the required parts. After a good amount of progress was made, Sandy needed a clarinet to complete the rocket. Spongebob ran to Squidward's house, looking all over for his crap coated dildo clarinet. Spongebob looked down at Squidward. His friend from so long ago, dead. All because he annoyed him that one day. If he had just left Squidward alone, would have all of this his never happened? Spongebob fucked Squidward's dead and cold body for old time's sake. He eventually took the Golden Dildo he and Sandy obtained while at Titgigantias. He slowly inserted it into Squidward's ass for shits and giggles, but his jaw dropped wide open when it started glowing. It slowly moved itself all the way in. Squidward's eyes broke open.

Meanwhile, Sandy was awaiting Spongebob's return. She waited for about an hour, until she started searching for him. She eventually reached Squidward's house. Beams of light shot out of every window and opening. Sandy sheilded her eyes and walked closer. She slowly opened the door only to find an amazing sight, Spongebob with Squidward, who was now alive once more. "Sandy! The Golden Dildo was magical! It can bring people back to life!" Exclaimed Spongebob, "But it can only be used once." he continued. Squidward was still glowing, and he was floating. "Holy shit!" Sandy thought aloud. Squidward floated into the air. The lights got brighter and brighter. Moments later, the light broke. Squidward was now fully revived. "Spongebob... I... I love you. When I was dying, I was only thinking of you. You and Patrick. I fought to keep my eyes open, but I couldn't. I can't believe I am back... it's all because of you." said Squidward. Spongebob nodded his head up and down to acknowledge what Squidward had said.

That night, the three slept outside around a camp fire. Sandy and Spongebob told everything to Squidward, who slowly accepted it all. Spongebob took out his guitar, and sung the Campfire Song Song. Squidward and Sandy cheered on, and Spongebob sung many encores. He eventually got tired and randomly started sleeping in the middle of the 34th encore. There was only one sleeping bag, so they all slept together clothless.

It was the final day on Earth. The trio was looking for random shit they wanted to take with them. Squidward wondered off. He could barely take what was going on. Even with Spongebob, who was now his whole life, he could not continue. He slowly backed up, and ran towards to edge of a cliff. He stopped himself at the very edge. He couldn't do it. Squidward backed up, and as he did the edge of the cliff collapsed. He screamed very loud. This was all a mistake, it couldn't be happening! He landed on his head, and went into coma.

Spongebob looked all around scraps of garbage in the waste land of Bikini Bottom. He found a couple of unused condoms he put in his pocket, in addition to 50 copies of E.T. Atari. He came across a cliff. He carefully looked down, and he saw it. Spongebob screamed and he slowly climbed down the cliff. Tears went down on his arm and reached his hands. When he got near the bottom they were so wet he slipped and scrapped his face against the rocky edge of the cliff. He was in pain and covered in blood but he didn't care. He tried to wake up Squidward. This couldn't be happening!

Meanwhile, Squidward was having a dream during his coma. He was in a vast and beautiful forest, and many images of Spongebob lived throughout it. He got to the center and a mystical being came out. It looked like an aura. "Squidward, you are the chosen one. Your destiny is to come to this place, and fuck me. I will transfer the power of revival into you, and you can stop this great crisis."

Squidward opened his eyes again. Spongebob stopped crying tears of sadness and started crying tears of joy. Squdward was still alive. "Squidward! I thought you died again! Please, be more careful. You mean everything to me right now. Fuck Sandy, she is a furry slut with a penis. A FUCKING SHEMALE. I need you, Squidward, as much as you need me." said Spongebob. Squidward wanted to show Spongebob that he loved him back, but there was no time. Squidward explained what he saw in his dream, which shook Spongebob deeply.

Spongebob returned to the rocket without Squidward. He urged Sandy to leave without Squidward, but she said no, so Spongebob called her a bitch and went to lay down in the rocket. Squidward approached Sandy. "I am not coming along." he stated. "What? Why?" Sandy replied. Squidward explained things to Sandy. "What the fuck were the side effects of being revived anyway, severe brain damage?" she harshly replied. Squidward leaped at her. That bitch would not get away with this. Spongebob ran out of the rocket and stared in awe. He broke up the fight. Squidward walked off, calling Spongebob and Sandy motherfuckers and told them to just leave, and they gladly did.

Squidward walked onwards for many miles. Spongebob stared out the window of the rocket, and his tears got the windows very wet as he thought about never seeing Squidward again. Sandy tried to cheer Spongebob up, but only failed, and when they finally reached Titgigantias once more, Spongebob was an emotional wreck. He wanted to commit suicide.


	4. Chapter 4: Squidward's Sexy Destiny

Squidward walked across the dead land of Bikini Bottom, pissed off. Spongebob and Sandy didn't understand anything about him or his destiny. When everything was all over, Spongebob and Sandy could stay on their dumb planet for all he cared. Though, the more he walked onward, the more he thought of Spongebob. He came across shelter, and he went inside. Squidward sat down and thought about all the good times he had with Spongebob. The more memories that came to mind, the more erected his penis became. Apparently, his penis was restored as a side effect from the Golden Dildo. Squidward eventually realized he was masturbating. He quickly got off the chair he had make all sticky and kept heading onwards.

Meanwhile, Spongebob and Sandy were being rewelcomed by the aliens of Titgigantias. They were heroes to the aliens, since they had defeated the penis eating monster. Spongebob didn't care though, he only cared about Squidward, and without him, Spongebob just wanted to kill himself. Sandy tried to cheer him up, but only failed. A few hours later, Spongebob was alone, sitting in a house the aliens made for him and Sandy. Spongebob found some rope and tied it to the wall. He got up on a chair and tied to other end of the rope to his neck. He jumped the same moment Sandy opened the door. Sandy screamed and dropped all her shopping bags. She quickly removed the drope from Spongebob's neck. "Why did you do that, you miserable whore!" Spongebob cried. "Don't you dare call me that, yellow punk. I just saved you life." Sandy replied. Spongebob bitch slapped Sandy, "I didn't want to be saved!" he said. Spongebob left the house and went to go on a walk. Every step he took he couldn't help but think about Squidward.

Squidward had been walking onwards for hours. He was dripping ink come all over the place, leaving a trail. There was no time to stop the dripping though, Squidward kept walking. He had to find the forest so that he could fuck the mythtical being and get the ability of revival to revive everyone! He kept walking faster the more he thought about it. There was no map, no guide, or clues as to where this forest area was, but he had to find it. Every once and a while, he'd find himself moving in circles or coming back to a place he already was. He pushed on though, and would always make it out of the loop.

Spongebob was staring at the rocket he and Sandy took to get to Tigigantias. He slowly neared it, and opened the door, but heard a scream behind him say, "Don't you even think about, Spongebob!". Spongebob quickly turned around and saw Sandy running towards him. He closed the rocket door and locked it, and got into the captain's seat. He turned it on as Sandy started trying to pick the lock. Spongebob started the rocket, and the countdown of ten started. Sandy broke in.

9. Spongebob leaped at her. 8. 7. Sandy grabbed him and tried pulling him out of the rocket. 6. 5. 4. Spongebob got loose and pushed her out of the rocket. Sandy tumbled against the ground, and her helmet shattered all over her face. 3. 2. 1. Spongebob closed the door. 0. The rocket took off. Spongebob was heading back to Earth, where Squidward was. That was all he wanted.

Squidward was still dripping ink/cum all over the ground. It actually helped him by showing him where he has already been. Eventually, he noticed a few trees, trees that were still alive. He lifted his head up, and looked forward. He saw the entrance to a forest. This was it, the dream he had during his coma wasn't bullshit after all! He started running towards it, faster by the second. The second he made it to the entrance, he tripped and fell over. Squidward slowly got up. He was scrapped pretty badly, but he could get over it, but then his stomach started to rumble, and he was thirsty as well. He fell back down, and was unable to move.

Spongebob arrived back on Earth. He looked all over the area where he was with Squidward the previous day. After a while, he started to just walk onward hoping to run into him. Hours passed, and no progress on finding Squidward was made. Even more hours passed, and he come across the same shelter Squidward did. He was the ink/cum covered chair. Squidward had to be here. He looked all around and eventually found the trail of ink/cum Squidward left. He followed the trail, running the whole time. Moments, later, he saw the forest like area ahead of him. "Squidward's destiny was true after all, he had to be here!" Spongebob thought. Upon entering the forest, he saw Squidward laying on the ground, in pain. Spongebob screamed. "Sponge...bo...b. H...elp me." Squidward painfully said. "Don't worry, it's gonna be okay..." Spongebob calmly told his love. He explored the forest for edible plants water. He returned with a good amount of both, and gave them to Squidward.

An hour later, Squidward awoke from a nap he had taken right after drinking and eating. Spongebob sat there, watching him. He was finally able to bring himself to talk about Squidward's destiny. He was now open to it after walking across the dead land, he just wanted to get everything over with. As moments passed, the two got up and started to head for the center of the forest.

Sandy awoke in a hospital. He was able to breathe and had a new helmet on. She felt pain all over her face though. As she got up, the aliens backed up. They asked her if she was okay, and she replied to them with a yes. They gave her some medicine and told her to take it on a daily basis, and after they were all gone, she would be fine. They sent her on her way and she left the hospital. Sandy was pissed off at Spongebob. He left her on a planet, alone with aliens. There was no way to get back, and she knew Spongebob would never come back, but in all honesty there was no reason to go back, and Spongebob annoyed her. With the aliens treating her like royalty, everything would be fine.

Spongebob and Squidward reached the center of the forest. Squidy walked to the end of a small path that led to the center of a lake, with a giant waterfall at the other side. The mythtical being Squidward saw raised from the water. It had a green arua, which lite up the forest. "I've been waiting for you, Squidward." 


	5. Chapter 5: The Sexiness Continues!

Spongebob and Squidward were standing in the presence of a godly being. It had an ominous glowing arua colored green, and floated above the water of the lake. "I've been waiting for you, Squidward." said the ominous and godly being. Squidward gulped in fear and exchanged glances with Spongebob, who was eager to find out who she was. After a few quiet seconds, Squidward approached the being and asked them if they were the one who appeared in his vision, which it replied with a yes. Spongebob gasped for a second. "So now, Squidward. About your destiny..." the being slowly spoke aloud. Squidward nodded to show that he was listening. It continued speaking, "Your destiny is to recieve powers from me and revive everyone." Spongebob's smile turned into a solid frown, "How is he suppose to do that? Only the Golden Dildo has the powers to revive someone!" he oddly stated. The being paused for a second, and then told Spongebob that by having an intercourse with Squidward, he would gain the powers to revive people from her. Spongebob gasped and his face filled with expresions of anger. Tears started leaking from his face and he ran off. Squidward tried to stop him, but the being said he would understand the importance eventually, and also forgive him, and then had Squidward get ready for the transfer.

-30 Minutes Later-

"Ohhh... I feel... so different now." Squidward said as he slowly got up from the bed he was in. The godly being told Squidward that he now had the power to revive people, all he had to do was intercourse with the person's dead body and they'd be brought back to life. Squidward's frown quickly turned into a huge smile. This was it, his destiny had started and after he was done everything would go back to normal. The goddess waved goodbye to Squidward and he jumped right out of the forest. The first thing he did when he got out was look around at the dead landscape of the town. Soon, everything would be back to normal. However, this optimistic mood was not to last long. Squidward took a few steps forward and he then looked over a little more to his right side, and he found Spongebob, dead. He had commited suicide by bashing his head against a rock various times until he died. Squidward screamed and ran over to him in tears. This couldn't have happened, especially since things looked like they were finally going to get better, but they still were. Squidward just remembered his new powers, Spongebob could be his first subject.

-10 Minutes Later-

"I'm... alive?" Spongebob slowly opened his eyes with that statement. Squidward leaped into the air and striked a victory pose. The powers worked. Spongebob looked over at Squidward, still angry about his destiny involving sex with other people. Squidward sat down next to Spongebob. "So... my good old friend..." Squidward started speaking aloud as Spongebob bitch slapped him. "We aren't friends anymore, you piece of shit!" Spongebob screamed at Squidward. Squidward was struck back at Spongebob's language. "You're a whore, having affairs with me. I hate you. I NO LONGER LOVE YOU!" Spongebob continued. Squidward tried calming Spongebob down, but he seemed to relentless to not let him talk, until Squidward grabbed Spongebob and kissed him. This kiss was full of a special power, the power of love. It sent all of Squidward's feelings and emotions towards Spongebob into Spongebob himself, and it healed the wounds of his heart. Spongebob understood now. Fate had locked Squidward into doing this task, and he had no choice, even if love had something to say about it.

About a month had passed and Squidward finally finished up his work. Everyone in Bikini Bottom was revived, the doctors found a way to restore everbody's penises, and Spongebob, Patrick, and Squidward all lived together with love always in their mind from that day forward. However, they got into constant fights and eventually all three broke up. And with that, all of the plot that had happened, SpongebobXSquidward subplot included, all became meaningless. And I swear to God that Sandy still being in space isn't going to tie into a second saga of this series. The End.  



	6. Chapter 6: Squidward's Sexy Christmas

Squidward was tidying up his house to prepare. He had the appetizers and decorations set for his Christmas party. There was one last thing he needed though, a mistletoe. Squidward went into his storage boxes and took out a nice looking one, and hung it over his front door. In just about an hour, his guests would arrive. As he proudly gazed upon his well set-up home, someone knocked on the door. Squidward rushed to the door, it must have been an early guest! The door slowly opened to reveal a yellow rectanlge like figure. It was Spongebob, uninvited. "Look, Squidward..." Spongebob started to say, but stopped midsentence. Squidward and Spongebob starred at each other. They still hadn't made up to each other from their big break up. The mistletoe was blown by the wind, and Spongebob and Squidward took notice of it. It only took a few seconds, but Spongebob and Squidward immediately going at it under the mistletoe. Patrick emerged from his rock to yell a familiar quote, "WHAT THE HELL?"  
"FISHPASTE! Not now Patrick! What is it?" Spongebob yelled in an annoyed tone.  
"You and that horny unforgivable jerk are doing it again? And again I am uninvited. You know what, you two have your fun being homos. I am done with this!"  
"But Patrick..."  
"Goodbye, Spongebob."

Squidward had called off his Christmas party. He just wasn't in the mood after what happened. Spongebob was in the kitchen making hot coco for the two of them. He left the kitchen and entered the living room. He put the tray of coco down while sitting, and then looked over at Squidward. "Hey... it's okay, buddy. We don't need him. We can just have sex on our own!"  
"Is everything just about sex to you? You yellow freak." Squidward angirly questioned Spongebob.  
"What? What do you mean?"  
"I mean everything is about sex to you. You're just built off of it. I feel like our relationship means nothing, you jerk."  
"Squidward... where is this coming from? You know you mean the world to me!"  
"Get out of my sight. Get out of my LIFE!"  
Spongebob got kicked out of Squidward's house in the snow, completely naked. He was locked out of his own house, so he slowly approached Patrick's house. He knocked on the rock, and Patrick opened up, but closed the second he saw Spongebob. With nowhere to go, Spongebob just gave in. He just gave up. He wanted to die.

Squidward sat down in his house in nothing but tears. About an hour had passed since he kicked Spongebob out of his house. He felt awful, why did he even assume Spongebob of being so awful? One thing was on his mind now: apologizing to Spongebob. Squidward turned off his porn, put on his winter coat, and stepped outside. After scanning the ground from left to right in about ten seconds, he spotted Spongebob on the ground, nearly burried in snow. He was unconscious, possibly dead. Squidward grabbed Spongebob and pulled him inside his house. After unthawing him, Squidward tried everything he could to make him wake up, but he couldn't. It was more than likely at this point that it was far too late. After finally accepting Spongebob's fate, Squidward realized he could change it. He still had the power to revive people with having an intercourse with their dead body.

Hours passed, and Squidward failed. His powers had worn off ever since he fulfilled his destiny. All hope was lost for Spongebob. Squidward fell to his knees on the floor and cried. Everything was his fault. Spongebob died from hypothermia because he was a jerk and kicked him out.

It was 10:00 PM. Squidward traveled across a chilly Bikini Bottom. He was looking for a good place to bury Spongebob and make a grave. He started to dig, and before putting Spongebob in, decided to fuck him one last time. He gave it to Spongebob harder than had ever done before, in the most gentle way possible. When it was over, he shed a single last tear and placed Spongebob in the hole. Just as he started shoveling dirt back in, Spongebob's eyes slowly reopened. Squidward couldn't believe his eyes. Spongebob emerged from the hole and looked face to face with Squidward. "I'm sorry for everything..." Spongebob apollogized. "There's no need, Spongebob," Squidward looked deeper into his eyes, "I should be the one saying sorry. Come on, let's go home, back to my house."

Spongebob and Squidward were laying in bed with a dim lamp turned on. It was then they both realized something, not only is a relationship cliche, but also fueled by sex. With that in mind, the two promised to never again forget about sex or take it for granted. Squidward turned off the lamp, they both got into the covers, and fueled their deep and meaningful relationship further. "Merry Christmas..."


	7. Chapter 7: Squidward's Sexy New Years

It was New Years Eve, and Spongebob was at Squidward's house celebrating. They were both overly drunk and partying. Squidward had ordered a bunch of illegal fireworks off of the internet, and he planned on blowing them up with Spongebob at midnight. Hours passed as they awaited for the clock to hit twelve. Spongebob, naturally being his dumbfuck self, went to go light the fireworks early, and in Squidward's garage. As the fuse slowly shortened as the fire burned down it's length, Spongebob realized it was a bad idea so he went back into the living room to get some water and put out the fire. "What are you doing?" Squidward questioned Spongebob as he entered the room. "I uhh.. was looking for a way out, I wanna go home for a while as we wait," Spongebob steadily replied. Squidward pointed over to the doorway and mumbled something to himself. Spongebob ran back home and then completely forgot about the firework he had lit.

Meanwhile, seconds after Spongebob left Squidward found an immense need to pleasure himself. He quickly ran into the garage and looked around for things he could use. He scanned the garage from left to right and something long and pointy caught his eyes. Squidward walked up to it and picked it up. "Ooh, this will certainly do..." Squidward slowly whispered to himself. Squidward immediately inserted the dynamite into his... well, you know. Squidward did this for a few minutes and then decided to lay there with it in. "Ahh~"

Spongebob, next door, was reading a book called Spongey Shades of Gay, and as he turned the page, he then remembered all about the firework he lit up. Spongebob gasped and then peaked out over the window, and saw through Squidward's garage window. Squidward was using the firework as a dildo! Spongebob quickly got his pants back on and rushed outside. He barged in the doors of Squidward's house, and as he tried breaking down the final jammed garage door, there was a loud explosion in the other room. Squidward could be heard, yelling in total pain. Spongebob gasped in horror and slowly fell the the ground in tears. He was too late, and once again, Squidward had died because of him.

Spongebob was on his knees crying, staring straight down. He slowly brought himself to look up, Squidward was blown into pieces, and the house was destroyed. Patrick emerged from his rock and looked directly over. He immediately ran over to check out the scene. "What happened?" Patrick asked. Spongebob looked up at Patrick. "Squidward... is dead... again... because of me. I'm... I'M A HORRIBLE PERSON!" Spongebob screamed and looked away. Patrick grabbed Spongebob's shoulder and turned him around. "Spongebob, it can't end this way for Squidward. There has to be a way! There just has to. I know I've been a jerk lately to both you and Squidward, but I regret it all. I'm back for both of you, Squidward just can't die!" Patrick declared. "You... really think so Pat... wait, no. No. There's no way, it can't be done! Squidward is dead again and it's ALL my fault!" Spongebob yelled. "Shut up Spongewhore! There has to be a way, there's always a way! In the name of awful fanfiction writing, we WILL find a way to revive our fuckbuddy!" Patrick finished.

It was then Spongebob and Patrick embarked on an epic quest- to the Krusty Krab. Spongebob laid Squidward's dead body on a table. It's pieces were glued back together. "Me boy, what the hell are ye doing?" Mr. Krabs questioned Spongebob. Spongebob handed his boss a few twenty dollar bills to shut Mr. Krabs up and also so he would allow him to put Squidward down on a table. Here Spongebob and Patrick discussed what their journey would possibly be like. Krabs walked over and listened in on the conversation. "Lads, I may have a solution to your problem."


	8. Chapter 8: Sexy Chaos Plot Devices

Spongebob and Patrick were listening to Mr. Krabs, who had said he knew of a way to revive their dead friend! However, he said it would cost the two of them first. They had to go out back behind the Krust Krab and give him blowjobs, but anything was worth it to revive Squidward. After the job was done, Mr. Krabs spilled... his info. He told Spongebob and Patrick all about the Seven Magical Chaos Dildos, which had the power to revive someone. Collecting them would not be an easy task, as all seven were scattered across the sea. With a long and hard journey ahead of them, the duo prepared for their journey, a journey of their life time, to revive a dead friend.

"This is just like that one time we went on a journey, except this time we're saving Squidward instead of Krabs!" Patrick declared as he skipped along the trail. Spongebob looked over at him in an annoyed tone, wondering how he could possibly be happy about anything that was happening. "This is gonna be so much fun!" Patrick kept yelling. This drove Spongebob off the edge, he couldn't tell if Patrick's retarded ways turned him on or made him want to kill Patrick, but he figured it probably wasn't the latter. With this, Spongebob tried to think of ways he could seduce Patrick without making things awkward, but then he just said "Ah, screw it", and decided he'd just be best off rushing in. He stared over at Patrick, but then images of Squidward filled his messed up and most likely severely damaged head, but he realized he couldn't just go for Patrick like this, it wouldn't be right for his true love, Squidward, and that the writer of this horrible fic probably couldn't think of another horrible and entirely cliche love plot involving them, so Spongebob looked straight up and powered through. "Is everything okay Spongebob?" Patrick asked. Spongebob looked over to him. "Yeah, everything is fine." he replied.

The two continued walking straight forward without speaking, but eventually they stopped upon reaching a building. "Huh, what's this place?" Patrick blankly asked. Spongebob shrugged and started walking closer to the entrance, Patrick following shortly after. A very under-clothed lady approached them when they entered. She offered them a seat and they quickly took the offer. Spongebob and Patrick sat down, taking glances all over the lowly lit room. A lot of guys were there, acting crazy and playing cards. "What'll be your order?" asked a lady in a slutty uniform. Spongebob and Patrick looked over at each other, smiling, and then both looked at the lady with huge grins across their faces. "We'll have two glasses of milk, please!" they both demanded. Just then, all of the tough guys at the bar stopped what they were doing and looked over at the retarded duo, laughing. "Did I say something funny?" Patrick wondered aloud. All of the men neared the two and caught them in a circle. "Milk? Puh, please. Have a beer and be a true man?" one of the men said. Spongebob and Patrick confused? What was a beer? And when they asked that, they more than regretted it. All of the men gangbanged Spongebob and Patrick. Patrick was nearly split into two and Spongebob's holes were stretched farther apart. The duo screamed as they were abused. They managed to eventually slip out and make it out of the bar. They jacked a couple of motorcycles and left, riding into the sun of the horizon.

Hours passed and the cycles ran out of gas. Spongebob and Patrick stopped at the side of the road and took a breather. Spongebob gasped for air and then looked over to his side. Patrick was nearly having a heart attack. "Man, that was horrible..." Spongebob begun. Patrick looked over with a deeply concerned and scared look. "We gotta find these Chaos Dildos, and fast! We gotta revive Squidward, I don't wanna go through anymore of this..." Spongebob trailed off. "But you know, it is worth it. For Squidward. We will go through all the gangbangs and blowjobs we can to revive our sexy squid friend! It could take more than years to find the first Chaos Dil-" Spongebob began to speak as Patrick interupted him. "I have one right here." Patrick said as he slowly removed his pants. Sure enough, one of the Chaos Dildos was jammed into his rear. Spongebob grew a huge grin of excitement. "You found one Patrick!" he exclaimed. And with that positive sign, Spongebob and Patrick continued their journey.


	9. Chapter 9: Sexylantis

Spongebob and Patrick had just found the first Chaos Dildo, and they were both now moving on in their journey to save their beloved friend, Squidward. There were six more Chaos Dildos they had to find, and finding them would not be an easy task. With recent hope however, our heroes had much optimism, and they used that to fuel their cliche fanfiction journey.

"Man, we've been travelning for days now!", Patrick said as he interrupted Spongebob, who was in deep thought. "Yeah, we have, but all of this traveling will be worth it once we revive Squidward... and then we can all live happily again," Spongebob replied with a hopeful cheer. They walked on and on into the rising sun, getting extremely tired as hours passed. "Hey look, I see something in the distance!", Patrick yelled. He immediately rushed towards the glowing paradise in the distance, and Spongebob tried to keep up. Patrick jumped up over a small hill and disappeared from Spongebob's point of view. Spongebob looked over the small bump and saw Patrick looking up from below, waiting for him. Spongebob jumped down himself and the two continued their run, and approached the giant paradise. They both had wished they hadn't, as it was Atlantis, a location they had both once been ages ago in a low-quality TV Movie that was a total disaster, meaning both the movie's quality and the events of the movie. Spongebob and his obese friend both tried taking a run for it, but it was too late. Guards circled all over the duo. "What brings you back here, young idiot rectangular yellow one?", asked a mysterious, yet quite familiar figure.

Spongebob and his friend were locked up by some faggot known as LRH, the ruler of Atlantis that had once had an encounter with Spongebob and Patrick, who both destroyed an ancient treasure of the atlantic kingdom. "You should have known better, square fool. You and your fatass friend are not welcome here, nor is the sexy squid, shemale squirrel, or cheap crab!", LRH yelled. "But you don't understand, your highness! We were just looking for the legendary Chaos Dilods!", Spongebob quickly formed LRH, who's eyes suddenly widened with anger. "You're here to mess with ANOTHER one of our royal treasures? Shut up, don't say another word. If you do, we will cut off your dicks!", LRH angrily yelled. Spongebob and Patrick quickly backed up into the corner of their cell in fear. Spongebob quickly stood up though, and stared into LRH's eyes with great animosity. "Look, you Atlantic queer, we'll do whatever it takes to get all of the Chaos Dildos! We need them to revive our sexy friend! If you don't hand over that dildo now, we'll fight you for it!", Spongebob declared aloud. Patrick shortly followed after Spongebob and got up, trying to look tough. "Oh, alright. You can have the Chaos Dildo... but you must first play in our little trial of games in order to obtain it," LRH began. "The games start in ten minutes. Be ready."

Ten minutes passed and Spongebob and Patrick were released from their cell and lead to the games. "Alright, settle down audience. Our players are here! I shall now explain the rules of the first game! These two must survive a gangbang by our huskiest palace guards!", LRH said as he read the rules off of a paper from the king's VIP spot in the colosseum. Spongebob looked over to Patrick and they both nodded. They embraced the pain. Three of Spongebob's holes were torn apart painfully wide. Spongebob couldn't see through the frantic gangbang he was recieving, but he could hear Patrick screaming for help in the distance. This went on for a full painful twenty minutes, but then LRH called out for the guards to stop. All of the guards removed themselves from Spongebob and Patrick. They were both damaged pretty badly, but they kept reminding themselves it was all worth it. Just for Squidward.

"The second trial will now begin!", LRH declared from his seat. This time, the challenge was to compete in the Sexy Olympics, ancient challanges passed down from the beginning of time in Atlantis. "The event our guests will partake in is the super crystal spiked dildo challenge!", The audience yelled with excitment as LRH explained. Spongebob and Patrick both exhanged glances like they had before the previous challange. Patrick's ass had already been torn open, but Patrick assured Spongebob that he could take a lot more. Patrick was horribly wrong though, as the challange began, within the first five seconds, Patrick was screaming. Spongebob was horrified, but he managed to make it through. Patrick was removed from the games, and the third challange was about to begin. It was all up to Spongebob now. "The third challange will be-" LRH began as he was stopped by Spongebob. "No! I will take no more of your shit!", Spongebob yelled as he looked over at Patrick, who was barely managing to even survive in the corner. Spongebob jumped up and slapped LRH and then smashed his face against the wall. "Give me the dildo, and then me and my friend will be leaving!", Spongebob screamed. LRH's face was all smashed up, and he called for guards to apprehend Spongebob and his nearly dead pal. Spongebob grabbed Patrick and ran. He smashed the glass surronding the stand of the Chaos Dilod, and then continued outside. Spongebob ran onwards with his heavy friend being carried on his back. They had escaped succussfully, and now had two out of seven Chaos Dildos. Spongebob put Patrick down against some padded up sand for him to lay against. Spongebob and Patrick then looked into each other's eyes and smiled. They had made progress.


	10. Chapter 10: Unsexy Horrible Filler

Spongebob and Patrick continued their epic journey to find the Chaos Dildos. As the duo traveled on across the big, deep, and hazardous ocean, their optimism grew for they had already found two of the seven dildos. With the third one bound to be in range, Spongebob and Patrick ran along the distant horizon. Time had passed, though only a few hours, it tired them. Patrick laid down against the side of a rock, as Spongebob set up camp.

Midnight had approached, but neither Spongebob or Patrick could not fall asleep. There was too much tension in the atmosphere. "Spongebob... I think we're in trouble. We have no money and we've been traveling for ages," Patrick begun. Spongebob turned over from his sleeping spot and gazed into Patrick's in the night sky. "I know buddy, I know. But we have to do this for Squidward... I'll think of something to get us through. I will no matter what," Spongebob assured Patrick. The two then started going at it for no apparent reason and Patrick screamed. "What's wrong?" Spongebob questioned as he stopped mid-intercourse with Patrick.  
"Nothing... it's just that my ass is still sore from Chapter 9, that's all," Patrick said.  
"Oh Patrick, you dirty little sea star..." Spongebob said seductively, as he resumed what he was doing.

Morning had struck. Spongebob got up and yawned. He looked over to his right side and saw Patrick, laying fast asleep. Spongebob walked over to Patrick and nudged him with his foot. Patrick slowly rose up.  
"Morning buddy!" Spongebob happily declared. Patrick was just about to walk outside the tent, but Spongebob pulled him back and tried to fuck him. Suddenly, just then, the duo heard noises outside the tent. Spongebob hushed Patrick, who's anus was still bleeding. Spongebob slightly unzipped the tent and took a look outside. There were people surronding the tent, awestruck.  
"So our children were right! There is gay monsters that dwell in the field!" yelled one man. Spongebob and Patrick looked over at each other in confusion.  
"Wait, you don't understand! It was all a misunderstanding, we weren't having sex at all! We were... fighting, yeah. I'm tired of this fat asses's heavy shit!" Spongebob yelled in a pissed off tone. Patrick was now heartbroken because of what Spongebob had said. "Well, I'm tired of this Spongewhore's fagattory!" he yelled in attempt of trying to have a good comeback. The two then started fighting. They both yelled things such as "EAT SHIT!" to each other. The crowd went crazy as they watched the two former friends beat each other up.

About an hour had passed and everyone went home. Spongebob and Patrick were still fighting and trying to murder each other as the clock hit lunch time. "Damn you! I thought we were friends!" yelled Patrick. Spongebob stopped fighting and put down his fists.  
"We are... I thought we were only doing this to look tough in front of the crowd!" Spongebob told Patrick. Patrick stepped back and withdrawed from the fight. Patrick gave a silent "Yeah, me too..." and then helped Spongebob undo the camp.  
"Well, come on buddy. I see a building in the distance. We could head that way and possibly find work there in the next chapter!" Spongebob happily declared.  
"Next chapter?" Patrick questioned.  
"Yeah, next chapter. This chapter was pretty gay and slow paced to the point of where it had barely any humor. In fact, this chapter all together is just worthless filler. Wow, the author of this story really is running out of ideas, which is why the next chapter will probably be considered a 'reboot' due to it having a new style to keep this long drawn out intentionally horrible fan-fic fresh!" Spongebob announced as IAMASEXYMAN held a gun near his sexy head.


	11. Chapter 11: The Sexy Return

So some shitload of time has passed since the previous chapter full of boring filler, and Spongebob and Patrick have came across a random building in the middle of nowehere. It was a bar of which Spongebob and Patrick begun working at to raise money. It had a very popular ice cream machine, but one day, Patrick got a little curios on the job, so he stuck his dick in the ice cream machine. "Ooh, kinky!" Spongebob called from afar, but something was wrong about this. Patrick's dick got stuck and it was slowly getting frostbite. "SO COLD!" Patrick screamed as he tried getting it out. Spongebob ran over to help, but it was too late. The machine was too jammed up, and it exploded, causing Spongebob and Patrick to get knocked out.

Spongebob and Patrick awoke. "How long were we out?" Patrick wondered aloud. Spongebob looked around, there was melted ice cream all around them. "Oh shit... dude I think we woke up a whole year into the future!" Spongebob screamed. Spongebob and Patrick began freaking out. "Oh crap, I wonder if Mr. Krabs has been taking care of Squidward's dead body?" Spongebob wondered, as he looked over at Patrick who was licking the melted ice cream off the ground. "This sand feels like sandpaper," he stated. "Patrick you dumbass, this is serious!" Spongebob yelled. Patrick slowly removed his tongue from the floor. "Well gee, I'm sorry Spongewhore. Would you rather have my tongue elsewhere?" Patrick said as he didn't realize the hidden innudeo in his sentence. Spongebob grew a boner but didn't say anything.

Spongebob and Patrick traveled all the way back to Bikini Bottom. They noticed something was very off. The atmosphere was gloomy and the whole town was dead quiet. Spongebob wandered around until he came across the Krusty Krab, which had a new sign up that read "Krusty Krab Kombo," with the initials "KKK" written all over the building. "Patrick, come here!" Spongebob said as he motioned Patrick over. The duo entered the building and then had sex on a table for no apparent reason. Spongebob had soiled Patrick. SOILED HIM! Just as Spongebob was getting his clothes back on, he accidentally fell back a little and stepped on some secret switch somewhere on the floor. A hidden staircase opened up. There were webs all over and dust flying around. Spongebob and Patrick looked down the hidden pathway, looked at each other, nodded, and then made their way down. "So, you've returned at last..." stated a familiar voice. It was Mr. Krabs. "I've been awaiting your return... but I fear you two may be too late." 


	12. Chapter 12: Sexy Plot Progressing

"Boy, ye arrived at last," Mr. Krabs said for the millionth time in a row since Spongebob and Patrick had returned in the previous chapter. Spongebob looked around. He saw Squidward's dead body, a few Chaos Dildos, and some pitchforks in the corner of the room. "Mr. Krabs, what the hell has happened?" Spongebob eargerly asked his boss. "A lot, a lot. It's a long story, so take a seat with your fatass friend as I tell it," Krabs instructed. Spongebob and Patrick sat down. "It all started when Sandy came back from the planet of Titgigantias after you two departed on your journey to find the Chaos Dildos. She had become the queen of the Titgiantians, but eventually became so overwelmed with power that she become their dictator. The reason she came back to Earth was to kill you, Spongebob. You abandoned her on that planet around ten chapters ago. What the hell were ye thinking? Anyways, onto the point. She's been killing everyone who has close ties to you. She's gotten everyone but me and Squidward... we've been hiding under here, in this secret basement. She has the whole sea under her tyranny. Spongebob me boy, you are the only one who can stop her, but even that seems wishful..." Krabs explained. Spongebob gasped as he slowly took in the fate of Bikini Bottom. "So our whole journey was worthless?" Patrick asked. Krabs shook his head. "No, it wasn't totally worthless. It depends on how many Chaos Dildos you found," Krabs said. Spongebob and Patrick handed over the shiny magical dildos to Mr. Krabs, who added them to his own collection. They now had five of seven. "Sandy has one, and one of her allies has another," Krabs explained. "Allies? Who?" Spongebob asked in fear. "Those Atlantic queers, from Atlantis," Krabs explained. Spongebob's heart stopped. It was LRH and his gang, who wanted to kill both Spongebob and Patrick, especially after their last visit in Chapter Whogivesafuck (Aka Chapter 9). "Me boy, we have to join forces with the military here. We need all the units we can. Luckily, I was once in the Navy, so I have experience with this war stuff," Krabs announced. Spongebob looked over at Squidward's dead body while Patrick just sat and stared at Mr. Krabs, not understanding anything he said. Spongebob looked over at Krabs and then Squidward. "Mr. Krabs, is it okay if I were to... just fuck Squidward for old time's sake?" Spongebob asked. Krabs nodded and Spongebob began to intercourse with Squidward's dead body, which somehow brought him back to life with the power of shitty fan-fic writing or love, or some other shit like that. "Spongebob! I'm alive again! I have no idea how to thank you without sounding out of character, because the author forgot how he characterized me even though my name is in the title of this series!" Squidward said as he embraced Spongebob. Krabs and Patrick looked over at the duo, nodded, and then joined in on their orgy. The moaning and grunting PIERCED through the winds of Bikini Bottom, and the soundwaves reached the ears of Sandy, who was in her dictator base. "Minions, go apprehend these faggots ot once!" she demanded. Immediately, all of the minions left to go capture the orgy at the Krusty Krab Kombo. LRH walked up to Sandy from behind. "We'll have their throats slit soon enough, and they shall be sentenced to death."

Sandy's minions neared the Krusty Krab Kombo and listened in on the orgy going downstairs. "SHIT, THE FLOOR IS STAINED! DAmN it!" Squidward yelled as the minions slowly neared the stair case. The minions all jumped in and attacked the faggots and bagged them up. "No... NO YOU CAN'T DO THIS!" Spongebob yelled as one of the minions tased him, but since they were all under water the taser exploded and they all died. So after an unimportant side character went on an meangingless journey and revived them all, the side character died and they were all circled by reinforcements. The reinforcements successfully bagged up Spongebob, Patrick, Squidward, and Krabs and they were all locked up in Sandy's Dictator Base.


	13. Chapter 13: Sexy Time Travel Part I

Spongebob and the gang had been locked up in Sandy's dungeon. After going through so much, Spongebob was just ready to give up and kill himself. As the yellow retard held a knife up to his head, Mr. Krabs had stopped him. "Wait, me lad, look over there!" he said, as everyone turned their heads to the corner of the dungeon. There were two sparkling and long figures in a glass case. Spongebob looked harder out them, and as he stared, he made out the shapes of dildos. "Chaos Dildos!" Spongebob yelled. The gang ran over to the case, and read the text written across the top. "Warning, do not break glass and use these dildos unless you are looking for a last minute resolve to this saga's plot," it read. Spongebob ignored the warning, and broke through the glass with his bare hands. "Fuck, that hurt... but with these babies, we'll be able to fix everything in no time!" he exclaimed. Everyone cheered on, except for Squidward. Spongebob walked over to his sexy squid friend and asked him what was wrong. Squidward stared blankly at Spongebob for a few good minutes, and then finally came out. "We can't just go on like these... everything is too fucked up for fixing... what if, on that one day, you never knocked on my door, Spongebob? If those events following after the time my dick pierced into your eye and entered your mouth, would things like this even be happening? Things have just been getting worse since then. Everyone is dying, and we've all lost people dear to us," Squidward said as he began to hold back tears. Spongebob bitch slapped Squidward. "No, there's no backing out now, I'm gonna use these Chaos Dildos to go into my super form and defeat Sandy and her shemale alien empire! You'll see, I can fix everything!" Spongebob yelled in a cheerful tone. Squidward looked down and felt even worse. This was the happiest he had seen Spongebob in a long time, but he was about to reverse it all. "Look Spongebob..." Squidward begun, as he took the Chaos Dildos out of Spongebob's hands. "We could use these, to go back into time and stop everything from happening, and it's probably the best way to fix all of this..." Squidward continued, as Spongebob looked deep into his eyes. "WHAT? How could you say that? Look at everything that's happened to us since then... we can't just undo all of that, it's too important!" Spongebob screamed, as he tried grabbing the Chaos Dildos back. Squidward lifted them out of Spongebob's reach. "Look, you yellow queer, this is for the better of the world. Stop being so selfish," he continued explaining. Spongebob was leaking puddles of tears now. "YOU FUCKING DICK! What if by undoing that day and the following events, you started to hating me again? That's the day that changed everything... when you went from being a dick to me to wanting my dick!" Spongebob yelled, as he leaped up into the air and kept trying to get the Chaos Dildos back from Squidward. As he rubbed a few tears off of his face, Squidward pushed Spongebob back, opened up a portal with the Chaos Dildos, and leaped in. Spongebob got up and tried jumping in as well, but Krabs grabbed him. "Look, me boy, Squidward is right. Our only chance to fix all the wrong is by making sure it never begins in the first place," Krabs said as he tried talking some sense into Spongebob. Spongebob called Krabs a bitch, twisted one of his eyes around, kicked him away, and then ran into the portal after Squidward.

Spongebob and Squidward emerged into a white space, cut out of time itself. Various portals appeared across the room, each leading to a different moment in time. Spongebob grapsed onto Squidward's legs and begged him to just give up on the idea of undoing everything. Squidward, sad as he was, just kept on ignoring him, as he scanned for the portal that led to the moment ages ago, where he decided to use his clarinet as a dildo, only before accidentally penetrating Spongebob with his dick, of which lead to sexual activities. Spongebob kept getting in the way, but Squidward eventually knocked him out with his fist, and looked a little to his left. He saw a staircase, that ended at a portal bigger than the rest. The image inside the portal was that of Squidward, from the past, using his clarinet as a dildo. Spongebob regained consciousness, and ran after Squidward. "Waaaaaaaaaaaaait!" Spongebob yelled. Squidward took in a deep breath, jumped in the portal, and vanished. Spongebob stopped dead in his tracks, and feel down on his knees. He hit the ground with his fist a few times in despair. "Squidward... why?"

NOTE FROM TEH AUTHOR: Worthless advertising space: Check out my new site, linked on my profile! There I will soon post exclusive stories, amazing updates, and every chapter will be posted a day earlier than it is on this site, aka every Thursday. This cyle will begin in April 2013. 


	14. Chapter 14: Sexy Time Travel Part II

It was another day in Bikini Bottom and Squidward was playing his dildo clarinet, he was about to remove it from his ass, but suddenly a huge portal opened up in the other side of his room. Another Squidward leaped out of the portal and knocked the clarinet out of the first Squidward's hand. The second Squidward breathed in really deep. "IF YOU USE THAT CLARINET YOU'LL CHOKE ON CRAP AND HAVE SEX WITH SPONGEBOB AND PATRICK AND THEN GET A VAGINA AND DIE, FOLLOWED BY HAVING TO FULFILL A DESTINY AND THEN HAVING TO FUCK EVERYONE'S DEAD BODY. AND THEN AFTER THAT YOU'LL DIE AGAIN FROM USING A FIREWORK AS A DILDO BUT YOU'LL BE REVIVED BY SPONGEBOB WHO SOMEHOW REVIVES YOU BY FUCKING YOUR DEAD BODY, AND THEN YOU'LL SOMEHOW END UP BACK HERE!" he yelled. Squidward of the past's jaw dropped as his future self explained upcoming events. "Wow... so I guess I should probably put this back and not answer Spongebob when he knocks on the door," he said. Squidward of the future nodded and took a seat. "Look, to simplify things, just call me Sexward, so that way the author can refer to me as a different name rather than having to say which Squidward is speaking," said Squidward of the future. Squidward agreed and then shooked hands with Sexward. "So... now what happens?" Squidward asked, as he and Sexward ignored Spongebob's knocking from outside. "Well... while I'm here, and as sexy as we both are..." Sexward began. Squidward and Sexward then started having hardcore clarinet dildo sex, but for some reason, Squidward dropped dead. "Oh... OH NO! I fucked my past self too hard. So if I passed out even though I warned myself about Spongebob and Patrick... does that mean all of the events of my timeline will still happen?" Sexward asked, as he lost consciousness. Sexward dropped dead on the ground, and another portal opened up on the other side of the room. Spongebob emerged, only to find both Squidwards, dead. Spongebob screamed and ran over to them. He listened for a heart beat, but alas, there was nothing. Spongebob began sobbing while he lay his head against Sexward. Just then, a huge explosive sound could be heard from downstairs. It was the Spongebob from this timelime. "Squidyward, you can't escape me this time, my sexy squid friend~" he said as he ran up stairs. Future Spongebob started looking for a hiding place, but his past self emerged, and saw him as well as both Squidwards. Past Spongebob's jaw dropped. "No... this... this doesn't make any sense..." he stuttered as he held back tears. "WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU CAUSED?" Past Spongebob said as he took out a dagger, and tried killing his future self. Future Spongebob backed up. "Please, allow me to explain!" he pleaded as Past Spongebob put his dagger away. "It's a long story... but to simplify things, Squidward finally becomes your friend in the future after having sex or some shit, and then a bunch of bad stuff happens. Squidward tried coming back here, to this point in the timeline, to try and prevent that all... but he was a fool, and fucked himself..." Future Spongebob said as he looked downwards to the floor, holding back tears. "What... this is too much to take in all at once..." Past Spongebob said, as puddles of tears streamed down his face. "Little did Squidward know... that if one were to fuck his or herself, they die." Future Spongebob stated. "So... does this mean we can't have sex?" asked Past Spongebob. "Sadly, yes." Future Spongebob explained.

Both Spongebobs agreed to go check out the altered future timeline to see the effects of Squidward's death. They had names for each other. "Pastbob," for Spongebob of the past, and "Futurebob," for the other. As the duo arrived in the altered Squidward-less timeline. Everything was a gigantic wreck, just as it had been during the apocalypse that took place after the vagina surgery had failed ages ago in the first saga of the series. Both Past and Futurebob had nothing to say as they journied on. "We should probably visit Sandy first..." Futurebob said aloud. "Why?" Pastbob asked. Futurebob sighed. "She... she went insane. I just wanna she what she's like here, okay?" he explained. The duo neared Sandy's treedome. The door was unlocked, and as they entered, they both slowly neared the window of Sandy's tree house. They looked inside, and saw Sandy, slowly dying while shriveling up, trying to rub out one last fap before she kicks the bucket. "Ew, even in this timeline, Sandy is a shemale..." Futurebob thinks aloud. Pastbob's eyes break open with noticable awareness, as Futurebob looks over to him and then replies with, "It's a long story," as he slowly climbs in the window. Pastbob followed shortly after, and as he got in, he tripped and created a loud noise. Sandy jumped around. "You... YOU YELLOW PRICK! Now there's two of you?" she screamed as she pulled out a knife. "Wait, Sandy, believe it or not, we come from alternate and different timelimes!" Futurebob screamed. Sandy put away here weapon. "Strange things have been happening lately... alright, I'll believe you for the sake of the plot!" she said. Pastbob approached Sandy. "Can you tell us... what this future is like?" he requested. Sandy took out a couple of chairs. "Sit down, this is a long one..." she said. Pastbob and Futurebob took seats as she continued. "Long ago, after Squidward's death, the Spongebob of this timelime went on a murderous rampage, and went on a spree where he chopped off various people's dicks. This lead scientist to create a vagina surgery replacement procedure... and it worked horribly." Sandy begun explaining. Pastbob was shocked of what he was destined to do, and Futurebob was surprised that even with altered events in the past, that a similar outcome to Squidward's Destiny had unfolded, but without himself being able to revive Squidward, eventually leading to the end of the apocalypse. "Look... I don't have much time... please, defeat the Spongebob of this timeline... and I'm asking you... as a friend. Just... put an end to me..." Sandy said with her dying breath. "She died. She died quoting Ventus." Futurebob stated. Pastbob rubbed a single tear off his face. "Come on, let's go put an end to the corrupted Spongebob," Futurebob said.


	15. Chapter 15: Sexy April Fools Special

IN THIS EPIC FINALE TO THE SQUIDWARD'S SEXY TIME SERIES, SPONGEOB BRINGS SQUIDWARD BACK TO LIFE AND THE DUO ARE REVEALED TO BE ANICENT HEROES IN THE PROPHECY OF THE MULTIVERSE, THUS CAUSING BOTH TO EXIST NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES THEY DIE OR WHETHER OR NOT THEY COME FROM NONEXISTENT TIMELINES. WHO DO THEY HAVE TO DEFEAT? THE CORUPTED SPONGEBOB OF COURSE, FAG0TBAWB, WHO HAS AN EXTREMELY LARGE GENETALIA!

"Sexward! I mean, Squidward, since the past Squidy is dead, Squidward! You're alive!" Futurebob said as he removed his whore self from his sexy squid friend. "Oh Spongebob, thank you for reviving me for the fifth time in this series! And look, we already have a mandatory fourth wall break!" Squidward said in a soft caring tone. Just then, a giant dildo from space flew in and crushed Pastbob. "NO! Not my sexy past self! Oh well, doesn't matter, considering I'll still survive, being a part of the Multiverse Prophecy!" Futurebob said, now being referred to as Spongebob. Squidward shrugged it off along with his pal. "Come on now buddy, let's go have sexual activities that will lead to disasterous worst case-scenarios!" Spongebob said, as he wrapped his arm around Squidward, while they both left the undescribed scene they were in.

"So, what do we do now?" Spongebob asked. Squidward looked around. Strangely, Bikini Bottom had already reverted back to a happier atmosphere with FAG0TBAWB's unmentioned defeat. Tons and tons of attractions were as far as they eye could see. "Let's go there," Squidward said as he took one of his tentacles out of his ass and used it to point far off in the direction of a carnival looking place. "Penis Land," Spongebob read aloud off of the large sign from the distance. Squidward and Spongebob ran across the field, and ripped off their clothes. The wind made their unmentionables fly back as they sped through the big open field. Eventually, they had made it to Penis Land. "HERE WE GO THIS IS SO EXCITING!" Spongebob said, as he and Squidward had aboarded a ride. "Not so fast..." said a familiar tone as they both quickly looked up. It was none other than IAMASEXYMAN, the author of this story itself. "You faggots aren't going anywhere. At least not until I write fucked up things about you two dying while fucking various people and creatures!" he said, as he slowly pulled a gun from his pocket. "No... WE'LL KILL YOU!" Spongebob screamed. "How could you kill me of all people? I am your creator, your god, I can erase you out of existence!" he replied. Spongebob grew a smirk across his face. "What about the Multiverse Prophecy?" he questioned. IAMASEXYMAN laughed. "I CREATED that, you dumbass. Now prepare to die you little fuckwad," he said as he approached Spongebob and Squidward, who were backing up in the corner of their seat in the carnival ride. "You little insignificant annoyances... you know what I'm gonna do to you? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA, BASIC UNDERSTANDING, OR FUCKING CONCEPT ON WHAT I AM ABOUT TO DO?" he yelled in a scary tone. "M-murder us?" Squidward asked. IAMASEXYMAN broke out in laughter. "I'm not gonna kill you. I can't kill you two until I'm done milking this series to death! Hell, this is only an April Fools episode that's completely uncanon!" he declared. Spongebob and Squidward were instantly relived. "Oh man, that was a close one. I thought you were REALLY gonna kill us!" Squidward said, laughing as he slowly got up. "That's because I still am," IAMASEXYMAN said as he gunned his cock, I mean cocked his gun. Spongebob and Squidward ran as fast as they could, and eventually hid behind a random ass alleyway. "Squidward I love you for no fucking reason," Spongebob said, ready to accept death. "No Spongebob, we must fight back!" Squidward said, as he took out his tentadickle and used it as a weapon. He turned it into a blade and sliced off IAMASEXYMAN's dick, which he uses to write these fanfictions. "YOU BASTARD! NOT ONLY DID YOU CUTT OFF MY WRITING TOOL, BUT YOU ALSO SLICED A PART OF MY CLOTHING!" he yelled as he grew to tremendous size. "THIS FANFIC IS NEARLY AS LONG AS MY FORMER DICK NOW, SO I THINK I BETTER END IT!" he yelled as he stepped on Squidward and permanently murdered him. "Oh well, at least this isn't canon," Spongebob said. "Yeah," IAMASEXYMAN agreed. 


	16. Chapter 16: Sexy Evil Spongebob

Squidward Has Sexual Relations With Other Spongebob Characters Chapter XV

Futurebob and Pastbob had to find and eliminate the evil Spongebob. "Gee, I wonder how we'll be able to find the evil Spongebob's lair?" Pastbob wondered aloud. "Well, for the sake of not doing a long drawn out traveling chapter, let's roll the Wheel of Plot Devices and see what it lands on!" Futurebob suggested. Futurebob took the Wheel of Plot Devices out of hammerspace and set it up on the ground. "Let's spin!" Pastbob exclaimed as he spinned the wheel. "I hope it lands on meaningless transition!" Futurebob cheered, as the wind blew the wheel a little further, causing it to stop on "Unfunny Dick Joke." "Dammit!" Futurebob yelled.  
"Let's see... it says that my dick has the power to guide us and lead the way!" Futurebob read off the Unfunny Dick Joke execution manual. Futurebob's dick extended and graced the air, and eventually stopped reaching out a few fields later. "All aboard," he said as Pastbob hopped on and slid down to the other end. When he got there, he reeled his future companion in with his extended genitalia. The duo then turned their backs and looked upwards at a giant factory. "Spongebob's Super Sexy Jenova Cell Factory," Futurebob read aloud from the sign. "Shit, this isn't Final Fantasy 7! How dare he mass produce Jenova Cells!" Pastbob yelled. Both Futurebob and Pastbob rushed into the factory. Its flooring was red and paneled, and it had various tubes filled with different liquids all over, with one giant tube at the end of the room. The evil Spongebob was there, nearly about to pour something into a Squidward shaped vessel. "Stop!" yelled both of the other Spongebobs. Evil Spongebob turned around. "You... how did you two get here?" he asked. Above him, a large sign read "Jenova Cell Squidward Recreation Project" in big text. "You bastard, don't you dare fuck with Squidward like that! Let him rest in peace!" Pastbob yelled. "No, you don't understand..." Evil Spongebob began as Futurebob took out a sword and leaped at him. "No, I must bring Squidward back... AS THE ULTIMATE LIFEFORM! THE SEXIEST BEING IN THE MULTIVERSE!" Evil Spongebob yelled as he took out a gun and wounded Futurebob with a few shots. Futurebob fell to the ground and started breathing heavily. "Why are you doing this? I DEMAND TO KNOW!" Pastbob yelled. Evil Spongebob took in a deep breath and sighed. "Well... I am you from the future, so you of all people should know, but I'll tell you anyways. You see, after Squidward's death, we-"  
"I refuse to believe we're the same you dirty whore!"  
"Quiet, or I'll shoot. Anyway, the thing is, after the tragic death of our sexy Squidy, we became fuel of corruption. We couldn't live without him, for he was our whole life... without him, with the eternal suffering... I feel like spreading my pain. I have Squidward's dead body. I went into the universe of many generic RPGs to find out how to bring back Squidward. I found nothing. It was then I lost hope, and threw out Squidward's dead body. Eventually, I discovered something, something called Jenova Cells. With these babies I plan on creating a new Squidward, just like the old one, but even sexier, it'll be the ultimate lifeform!" Evil Spongebob ranted on, revealing his plan. "You monster! It's not the same! A Fake Squidward is NO Squidward! And with a being sexier than the original Squidward... the universe may fall apart!" Pastbob yelled. "Whatever, worthless," Evil Spongebob said as he reached his hand out towards Futurebob. "Join me, Spongebob of an alternate timeline. We'll bring back your own Squidward too, Sexward, the name he took a little before his death..." Evil Spongebob said to Futurebob. Futurebob bitch slapped Evil Spongebob. "I'll never join you or what you stand for!" he yelled. Evil Spongebob stomped on Futurebob's hand and he cringed. Futurebob went back to laying back down. "Fools, you all have no idea. Not only is it truthfully not all about bringing back Squidward, it's really about perfecting Squidward. I've done so much to make sure everything ended up the way it is now..." Evil Spongebob cryptically spoke aloud. "What?" Both Pastbob and Futurebob asked. "I CAUSED ALL OF THIS! Right down to the core... I was the one who created the Chaos Dildos, made Planet Titgigantias and its Penis Eating Monster, Built Atlantis, and not to mention tons of other things. The Chaos Dildos were powered up with all the sexual expieriences I had, the Penis Eating Monster was made with Jenova Cells, and Planet Titgigantias I created with Play-Doh, its civilization being made up of alien species I stole from other universes and breeded, and Atlantis I went back in time to built. All of these factors somehow held a complicated series of events together, allowing Futurebob and Sexward to exist in this timeline, and get Pastbob here with the former." Evil Spongebob revealed. The other Spongebobs stared at Evil Spongebob in shock. Futurebob stood up and rubbed off all his severe pain. "You... fucking... monster... a lot of suffering could have been prevented if you didn't mess time up like this!" he yelled, as he ran up to Evil Spongebob. Evil Spongebob pushed him back down. "Be a well behaved boy and join me now, or die..." he quietly whispered into his ear. "Pastbob, NOW!" Futurebob yelled. Pastbob nodded, and landed a surprise blow on Evil Spongebob. With Evil Spongebob pinned down, Futurebob ran over to the Jenova Cell supply and smashed its container. He stomped his foot againts the ground, ruining the cells one by one. Evil Spongebob screamed and stuck a small knife into Pastbob, who screamed in pain as he was pushed back. "DO YOU NOT GET IT? YOU INSIGNIFICANT LITTLE FUCKTARDS? IT WAS ALREADY OVER FROM THE START, I ALREADY POURED SOME OF THE CELLS INTO THE VESSEL. ALL I HAVE TO DO IS ACTIVATE THIS MACHINE, AND MY CREATION WILL BE MADE IN THE BLINK OF A GODDAMN EYE! AND WITH IT, I WILL MAKE EVERYONE ELSE SUFFER PAIN WORSE THAN I EVER HAVE! I WILL AVENGE MY CORRUPTION!" Evil Spongebob yelled. Pastbob and Futurebob looked over to each other. There was only one thing left to do to end this, and they both knew what it was. Futurebob nodded, and leaped over onto Evil Spongebob and started intercoursing with him. "What now, you little faggot? There's no time for last minute sex," Evil Spongebob said. "It's not sex it's more like murder," explained Futurebob. "WHAT?" Evil Spongebob yelled. "Don't you remember? If you fuck yourself you DIE!" Pastbob yelled. "Oh me of the past, please, I know you need my guidance, but I must sacrifice myself, for this is my demise. Go see Krabs, if he is alive, he can guide you on how to restore all the wrong in the world," Futurebob said. "Don't count on it!" Evil Spongebob yelled, as he pushed Futurebob off. Evil Spongebob leaped into the air and landed on a walkway nearly touching the celling. Futurebob followed afterward, and their battle begun...  



	17. Chapter 17: The Sexy Battle

Crappy Long Drawn Out and Sexual Spongebob Fan-fic Chapter XVI

Futurebob and Evil Spongebob engaged in an epic-

ly cliche and predictable long drawn out battle. It ended with Futurebob successfully penetrating Evil Spongebob, thus rendering him fucked, meaning they would now both finally die. Futurebob had passed on a message to Pastbob, saying that whatever he does, he must find a way to restore the world from its crisis. "Pastbob, go, back to Bikini Bottom. With me removed from this world, you shall be known as 'Spongebob' once more, as there will only be one of us," Futurebob said, as he died, taking Evil Spongebob with him. Pastbob (Now being known as Spongebob once more) left the factory/base/thing or some shit in confusion on what to do next, but he knew one thing, it was that he had to put a stop to the bad things happening for the sake of saving this stale fan-fic from going on any longer! "I must not let there be anymore intentionally shitty writing, crappy plot devices, or fourth wall jokes that are loads of bullshit!" Spongebob said as he lifted his fist into the air. Spongebob crawled across the ocean all the way back to Bikini Bottom, before finally passing out.

Hours passed and Spongebob finally woke up to the image of Mr. Krabs, looking down on him. "Thank God, me boy! You're still alive!" Krabs exclaimed. Spongebob got up and looked around. He was in the Krusty Krab, but something was different. Plankton was standing on Krabs shoulder. "What's going on?" asked Spongebob. Krabs sighed and motioned for Spongebob to sit down. "Well, let me start from the very beginning. The world is in danger... nearly everyone is dead, including me daughter Pearl... with these desperate times, Plankton and I have joined together for a higher cance of survival. Now then, if ye don't mind, we were about to partake in an orgy. Wanna join us?" Krabs explained, finishing off with a question. Spongebob wasn't really in the mood, but he joined Krabs and Plankton anyway. Things went on for about ten seconds before Plankton got stuck in Krab's ass, only to never return. Not only did this kill the mood, but this made Krabs constipated for weeks. Spongebob then explained his situation to Krabs, as he pulled his pants back up. "Me boy, I just may have a solution!" Krabs cheered, as he pulled out a case. Upon flicking the case open, rays of light flashed out and bounced of the walls all over the place. "These are the legendary Chaos Dildos..." Krabs said in a cryptic voice. "Hey, the future me from the alternate timeline told me about these! We can use them to revive people!" Spongebob cheered. Krabs nodded. "Who do you suggest we revive?" he asked. "Squidward, the one from the alternate timeline, for sure he can help us. Possibly save us!" Spongebob said. Krabs smiled. "Me boy, that's a great idea. We may have hope after all!"

Krabs and Spongebob neared Squidward's house. They walked right in and found both dead Squidwards, laying down. Dead. "Here, here's the one from the alternate future! He apparently called himself Sexward when he met the other Squidward, but he'll be the only one alive when we revive him. I guess we should just call him Squidward, huh?" Spongebob said, as he pluck'd out the Chaos Dildos and shoved them into Squidward's ass. Squidward's eyes shot open. "This is the second time I have been revived by didlos, and if it weren't for a meaningless plot device in an earlier chapter it would have been the third," Squidward said in a louzy tone. "Yeah, about that... I think the evil me from this timeline may have been the reason you may have been revived. You know, just turning a lazy ass excise into something plot related. I mean, he did say that he made it so that all of these little events would happen to make the bigger events leading up to his confrontion,' Spongebob randomly ranted on. Squidward grabbed Spongebob. "You're still alive!" he yelled in joy. "Actually... I'm the Spongebob from this timeline. The one from your's is dead... he made a brave sacrifice..." Spongebob explained, as Squidward dropped him. "Fuck... this has gone too far. This must stop. Now!" Squidward yelled. "How are we gonna fix this, Squidward?" Krabs asked. "We aren't gonna fix this. It's not worth it. Too much has happened and I've been through enough already. This is bullshit. I'm sick and tired of being put in the middle of this, so I'm gonna do something that'll put a stop to these tragic, apocalyptic, and sexual disasters once and for all! I must destroy the source of all of this... the one who wrote this all down in a Notepad document and uploaded it to various websites... I must kill IAMASEXYMAN." 


	18. Chapter 18: Sexy Long ChapterJourney

Squidward's Overly Dramatic Tale of Amazingness Chapter XVIII

Squidward, Krabs, and Spongebob were preparing to leave their own fictional universe to go out and seek their direction, aka their writer, known as IAMASEXYMAN. "Me boys, we better get ready. We have no idea what's in store for us. Prepare, IAMASEXYMAN may even wanna kill us... hopefully I just didn't foreshadow anything," Krabs said. Spongebob and Squidward nodded, as they headed out the door directly behind Krabs. The atmosphere was as dead as it ever had been. Gray skies, humanity nearly fully killed off, and everything was silent. Squidward, Krabs, and Spongebob looked up into the sky. There was a single beam of light shooting in through some clouds. "Up there," Spongebob said, pointing towards the light. "This may be where we have to go. Up there," Krabs said while looking around at some red mountains in the distance. "You really think we may be able to reach the skies if we climb that thing?", Squidward asked. Krabs nodded. "Yeah, we probably could," he said, as they started trudging on to the mountains over miles away.

Hours passed, and a blizzard breezes across the bare and empty land. "He's out to get us... he can finish us, no matter how hard we try. He writes out fates...," Spongebob said as he slowly started losing conciousness. Squidward grabbed Spongebob and lifted him over his shoulder. "It's okay buddy, it's okay. We'll make it no matter what!," Squidward yelled. His voice echoed across the bare fields, and a rumble shook the land. "Damn!", Krabs yelled. The earthquake tore the ground open and fractured it into may different pices. More and more tears appeared and a violent shake separate Spongebob, Krabs, and Squidward onto different pieces of Earth. "Squidward!", Spongebob cried as he finally passed out. Squidward leaped towards Spongebob, but didn't make it all the way over the jump over the rip in the ground, and catched himself on a ledge. Krabs tried getting up, but his attempts failed, as he injured his back after a bad fall. Squidward cried for help, as Krabs slowly rolled over a little and tried reaching an arm out for Squidward. Squidward let one of his arms go off the ledge to reach for Krabs, but he accidentally pulled him forward, which made Krabs fall of his own ledge. Squdward lost his grip of Krabs, but Krabs managed to grab onto Squidward's legs and dangle there. "Spongebob, help!", they both cried, as Squidward's hand slowly started sliding off the edge of the edge. Seconds turned into minutes, as the tension grew worse and worse inside of Squidward and Krabs. Sweat dripped down off the both of them, as their upcoming demise took the best of them, and then, Spongebob woke up. "Squidward? Mr. Krabs? Where are you two?", he wondered aloud. Squidward finally gave up and let go, letting out a scream, and so did Krabs. As Spongebob heard them, he leaped over to the edge of the cliff and reached for their hands. Spongebob pulled them up, and when they got back up, the ground went back to its normal pre-Earthquake state. "He did this. No more time to waste, we have to get to IAMASEXYMAN and deal with him and his bullshit!", Squidward yelled as he shook his fist into the air.

Time kept rapidly passing, and the heroes kept tiring out. "Here, let's take a break...", Krabs said. The three set up a camp and night had taken over, though there was no present night time features present. More grainy skies and a silenced atmosphere. Squidward sighed, and looked over at the two alternative versions of his friends. "Spongebob, Krabs. Thank-you for everything so far. At this point, I think I love the both of you as much as I loved the original Spongebob and Krabs, from my own timeline... I wonder... maybe, with IAMASEXYMAN's power, if I'll be able to see them again?", Squidward ranted on, as his friends listened. "Maybe so, Squidward. Maybe so, but to help get your mind off of things, how about a good old fashioned campfire orgy?", Krabs suggested. Spongebob's face lit up with excitement. "Oh, 'cum' on Squidward, let's do it! It'll be fun! Can we? Can we pleeeeease?", Spongebob begged on and on. Squidward chuckled and a little and looked down to examine his erection. "Sure, why not!", he said, as he removed his minimal clothing. Krabs and Spongebob joined him, as they took in on the action as well...

Morning struck, and the sky was still bland and gray. "Come on, that sex and sleep was refreashing, let's put the that energy to use," Krabs said. Everyone got out of the single sleeping bag they all slept in and put on their clothes. Another tremor swept across the land. "Fuck you, we're defying your crappy odds!", Squidward yelled into the sky. A second tremor shook the land, but Squidward was silenced this time. "We better keep going, I think we're past the halfway point," Krabs stated. He started walking on as Spongebob and Squidward traveled on right along side him. Hours and hours passed. Sweat dripped, coughs were made, and energy was lost. Eventually, the gang ran out of their supplies, and slowly started rotting away. "We... we must make it!", Squidward exclaimed. Spongebob started caughing up blood, and hyperventilating, and passed out. "Spongebob, me boy, speak to me!", Krabs yelled as he grabbed Spongebob by the shoulders and shook him. "Think Squidward, what should we do?", Krabs asked him in concern. "Maybe... if he intercourse with him hard enough, we can jolt him back to life...", Squidward said. Krabs' face lit up. "Brilliant!", he exclaimed.

Squidward and Krabs fucked Spongebob hard, but nothing worked. "Spongebob... please, wake up!", they both yelled, and as they both climaxed, they yelled his name in the air, and it dramatically echoed on for miles. "Well... we're almost there... the mountain is at most a little less than a mile away", Krabs begun. "Yeah... I say we find IAMASEXYMAN. We find him, and finish this!", Squidward yelled. And the trudged on further. Though tired, dying, and hungry, they continued on, until the reached the mountain. "We're here."

Krabs and Squidward were at the root of the mountain. "I see a climbable path ahead, let's go," Squidward said calmly. Krabs was carrying Spongebob on his back as he followed Squidward upwards. The base of the mountain was flat, but had rocky slanted walls. Some rocks were jagged out of the wall and were pretty sharp, and Squidward had accidentally got one jabbed into his tentacle. He let out a yell, but after the bleeding stopped he continued climbing until he came across another flat service. There were no climable walls in sight, just an entrance to a cave, and a very cryptic looking one at that. Krabs emerged from the edge of the cliff a few seconds after Squidward. He stopped next to Squidward and examined the cave entrance. "You're not thinking about going in there... are you?", Krabs asked. Squidward nodded. "It's my only choice," he replied. Krabs sighed and looked down for a bit. "It may very well be our written death, but I'll go in if you feel like we should. We got nothing to lose...", Krabs said, gazing into Squidward's eyes with deep concern. Squidward nodded, and without a word, entered the cave, with Krabs following shortly after.

Each second inside was pure torture. Squidward could easily feel the life force being drained from him the further he walked. He and Krabs reached two separate paths. Squidward took the left, Krabs took the right. They both knew they probably shouldn't have separated from each other, but they did in desperation. Squidward reached a room with light. Light coming from lava. Various rocks were scattered across the room, ultimately leading to the other end of the room, which continued the path he was taking, leading back into the darkness. Squidward slowly and steadily put his fot down on one of the rocks, and it slowly began to sink. He immediately pulled his foot back up onto his hold. "I gotta do this quickly...", he said. Squidward hopped from rock to rock, and reached the other side, though he burned one of the bottom of his tentacles in the process.

Meanwhile, Krabs had reached a dead end in a small narrow, yet circular room, and as he turned back, there were four muscular creatures blocking his exit. "Top of the morning, boys. You wouldn't be willing to get out of my way, would ye?", Krabs asked. Obviously, they weren't as they cornered Krabs and took Spongebob away from him, beginning to tear his body apart. Krabs leaped into the air and knocked Spongebob out of the hands of one of them. "Let go of him, you chodes!", he exclaimed. They all took out their dicks and focused their attention on Krabs again, cornering him, now without Spongebob. As Krabs started panicking, Spongebob finally awoke again. "Krabs, what's happening?", he asked in panic. "Just go, me boy. Save yourself. I'd be willing to take fatal rape if it meant your survival. Go, go back. Take the path to the left when you get to a fork in the cave. Find Squidward and join him!", Krabs yelled, as his voice faded out due to all the rape sounds. Spongebob ran back in fear.

Squidward reached a new room in the cave, a room without a floor. Squidward knew he could jump it, because he'd fall and die. Squidward begun to examine his surrondings within the room, and he noticed something approaching from the hall before the room. It was Spongebob. "Squidward! You're here!", he called. Squidward ran over to Spongebob and embraced him. "Spongebob... don't die on me, especially not here!", Squidward said as he put Spongebob down. "I won't, but I don't know if I can say the same thing about Krabs. Krabs is... gone now. He defended me by getting raped and died," Spongebob explained. Tears filled both Spongebob and Squidward's eyes as they mourned over their dead friend. "So... we must move on. We must avenge him!", Spongebob said. Squidward agreed, but he was stuck. "Wait, I have an idea on how to get past the bottomless pit. Squidward, use your dick as a rope, and maybe we can swing across!", Spongebob said. Squidward liked the Deus Ex Machina, so he gave himself a bonger, threw it over a hook on the ceiling, and then roped Spongebob and himself across. "We made it!", exclaimed Spongebob. Squidward smiled at the sight of Spongebob showing happiness.

Spongebob and Squidward emerged from the cave, which exited at the top of the mountain. Squidward didn't feel like he was losing energy anymore, but he was tired. Spongebob searched around the summit while Squidward rested. The beam of light from earlier in the chapter was there, complete with a staircase leading into the open hole in the clouds. The staircase was slightly transparent and reflected the light all over the place. When Squidward was done resting, Spongebob came back. They prepared to enter the world outside of their own, the REAL world. As Spongebob climbed one of the first few steps, Squidward stopped Spongebob. "Spongebob... even if you're a different Spongebob than the one I know, I still love you and want to have sex with you one last time before we confront IAMASEXYMAN. We could possibly die because of him..." Squidward explained. Spongebob smiled and leaped over Squidward and latched onto him, and then they did it. For the final time.

Squidward and Spongebob got up and brushed off moments after they were done fucking. They looked at each other and nodded, and then they walked up the staircase together - holding hands, as they walked towards their enemie's home world to seemingly put an end to him once and for all, while avenging all they have lost throughout their lives.


	19. Chapter 19: The Other Sexy Journey

Squidward and Spongebob had entered the real world. "Squidward... everything is so huge... it's like your cock...", Spongebob said, as he frantically glanced around the new surronding. They had exited out of what appeared to be a book. "It looks like we're in some kind of library... a huge one," Squidward said as he examined the room. Spongebob was worried. "Why are we so small...?", he wondered. Squidward scratched his head. "Maybe we're just smaller in this world?", he said. Spongebob nodded and agreed, as they climbed drawn a small draw with a book on display. "Oh no, Squidward! Read the title of that book!", Spongebob yelled. Squidward looked up and read the title of the book aloud. "Squidward's Sexy Time," he said. A huge frown now covered his face. "So, that little bitch IAMASEXYMAN is writing this as a STORY? Our lives are just one long drawn out tale of torture... MADE TO ENTERTAIN PEOPLE?", Squidward yelled. Spongebob took a step back at the thought of Squidward being so angry. "That does. That so does it. Cum on Spongebob, no time for terrible sex jokes or puns! We need to stop this RIGHT AWAY, and fix things!", Squidward explained, as he started marching down towards the exit of the library. "But... Squidward. You just said 'cum', this is just what he wants! No matter what we do... he'll intefer. We can't defy what we're wrote to do!", Spongebob yelled. "No, you listen to me. I do what I want. Nothing else can write words into a notepad document and make me do things! Let's go, Spongebob," Squidward said as he grabbed Spongebob by the arm and started heading towards the library entrance again.

Hours passed as the duo walked through the sleezys treets of IAMASEXYMAN's hometown. "So, this is where that worthless scum writes his stories about us?", Squidward said in an angered tone. Spongebob looked around the streets as Squidward pulled him through. There were alley ways with hookers, car chases going on through the streets, and people with guns walking around. "Squidward, this guy is apparently famous, right?", Spongebob asked. Squidward stopped to look down at Spongebob. "Yeah, what's your point?", he asked. Spongebob fiddled his fingers for a second. "Well... if he has money, and power, why would he live in a place like this...", Spongebob wondered. And then it hit Squidward. "Goddammit, you're right. You're fucking right. He probably wrote us coming here. For all we know, he could be on the other side of this world!", Squidward said. Spongebob tugged on him though to get his attention. "No... what if he lives up THERE?", Spongebob said, as he pointed up towards the top of a mountain, with a shiny mansion viewable at the very top. "Looks like I know where we're going. Shit.," Squidward said.

Night had struck and it was only then our sexy heroes were at the very foot of the mountain. "We'll camp out here," Squidward said. Spongebob and Squidward started setting up camp and it had become pitch black outdoors. Spongebob set up a campfire and started singing various songs.

Let's gather 'round the campfire

And fuck all the way 'til next dawn

f-u-c-k t-h-i-s song

And if don't think that this is sexy

Then you're gay

But it'd help

If you'd just fap along~

Spongebob sung this song and kept encoring at Squidward's request until he passed out.

Morning had come and Spongebob and Squidward had awoken. "Come on Squidward, we can make it! We just gotta try!", Spongebob said as he and his pal began walking up the mountain. Squidward started noticing the world around him fading slowly. "What's happening?", he though to himself. He pulled in deep breaths as he trudged on, Spongebob by his side. "No, no, no," he said to himself as his heart rate increased. Eventually, he found himself hyperventilating, and passed out. He heard a final few words. "Squidward, Squidward, wake up!"

Squidward woke up in the darkness. Nothing was in sight. He slowly turned around as a big, muscular, and sexy figure approached him. "Stop while you can. Go with the plot. Or watch it worsen...", it said. Squidward's eyes broke open only to see Spongebob, crouched over him, naked. "Spongebob, what the hell are you doing?", he asked. "Well... you weren't breathing or moving... I was gonna try reviving you by fucking the shit out of your dead body. You said it worked for the Spongebob from your timeline, right?", he said. Squidward pushed Spongebob away, who fell on his back and put his pants on. "Look, if I die, I don't care. You just need to get to IAMASEXYMAN and put an end to him. You hear me?", Squidward said. Spongebob nodded. "Fine... but if you die, I don't know if it'd be worth living anymore."

The day was now in the middle of its life, and Spongebob and Squidward were now halfway up the mountain. Things got tougher as Squidward neared the top, but Spongebob seemed perfectly fine. Squidward, knowing things were dire, was ready to pass on all of his remaining power to Spongebob as his final action if he were to die, but he kept these thoughts to himself as he continiously ran along. Time had passed and Squidward nor Spongebob had said a thing, and night had once again struck. "Should I sing another song?", Spongebob asked. Squidward nodded.

Squidward, you're my world

Squidward, you're my life

When your tentacles slowly enter my asssss

It feels so magicaaaaaaaal~

Squidward, I need you.

You've my everything.

Please, stay with me.

For all my life~

As Spongebob sung his tribute, Squidward begun to cry. He wondered about what would happen. If he had died and Spongebob had to face IAMASEXYMAN alone, would he die as well? Or would Spongebob succeed or fell like crap because he died? Or worse, if by defeating IAMSEXYMAN, and returning the timeline back to normal, would this Spongebob cease to exist in favor of the original? Or truly worst of all, would defeating IAMASEXYMAN erase them both form existence? Spongebob kept singing on, as tears filled Squidward's eyes, and created a puddle in the ground.

Morning struck once again, and Squidward knew they were close, as his enduring pain felt worse and worse, but Spongebob, was still perfectly fine. Squidward's breathing got a lot more rapid, and it started getting harder to breath altogether. Spongebob started to notice his pal's demise. "Say, Squidward. I'll give you a piggyback ride. Just take it easy," Spongebob said. Squidward got up on Spongebob's back and fell asleep over his shoulder.

Squidward felt a hard hit against his back. "Wake up, Squidward. Wake up," Spongebob said. Squidward arose and the first thing he noticed was a huge mansion. "We're here, pal. We're here," Spongebob said.

* * *

Author's Note: Go read my other somewhat new Fanfiction series, _Kingdom Hearts 3, _which will have a crossover with Squidward's Sexy Time starting at Chapter 21!


	20. Chapter 20: A Sexy Confrontion

Squidward and Spongebob had reached IAMASEXYMAN's mansion of sexy things. "Now, where is that douche hiding?", Squidward asked aloud. He and Spongebob gazed upon the checkered and marble floor. "Come on, this way!", Squidward declared, entering a long hallway as Spongebob followed. Portraits and portraits of IAMASEXYMAN were scattered across the wall, but his face was always shadowed out. "I see he's a shy one...", Squidward thought to himself. Each step Squidward had took got harder and harder, as he found himself gradually slowing down. Spongebob now realized his buddy was slowly dying, but he kept his mouth shut. "Come on, we need to hurry," Spongebob said, as he frantically sped up. Squidward followed the same pace as he ran right behind Spongebob. "I... I can't make it!", Squidward declared. "Squidward... you will make it! Cliche writing will allow you t-", Spongebob began, but Squidward hushed him. "No, Spongebob. This time... the writing won't help us get out of the situation... this time it's ruining us. Just... go on without me!", Squidward yelled. Spongebob gasped. "No, I can't... I only made it this far because I had you. You're everything to me, whether you're a Squidward from a different timeline or not. You always used to hate me before things changed... but back then, every time you pushed me away... I improved myself. I tried making myself a better person, one you could like... and because of that, I am now selfaware, no longer an oblivious fucktard... I owe everything to you, Squidward...", Spongebob said, as he held Squidward in his arms, crying. Squidward started shivering as turns welled up in his eyes as well. "Spongebob... this all started terribly. Right from the beginning... I knew life would never be the same... and my only, I repeat, ONLY regret... is treating you the way I did. Before everything changed that one day I used my clarinet as a dildo resulting in an odd series of sexual yet fatal tasks. But... I'm glad. I'm glad it ended with you, and nobody else. Whether you're the Spongebob I've been through the most with, or a Spongebob from another timeline, you're still Spongebob, and that's all that matters to me. Please... live on, beat IAMASEXYMAN... you're my living legacy...", Squidward said, as he finally closed his eyes, for what seemed to be the final time.

Spongebob had now gone insane. He had Squidward in one hand, as he dragged him down the halls of IAMASEXYMAN's mansion. "I'll avenge Squidward... I'll put an end to you!", Spongebob yelled. In the distance, there was a huge doorway, with a bright light peaking through. Spongebob breathed heavily as he kept running. The longer he ran, the further away the door seemed. "Screw this!", he yelled. Spongebob stopped. The doorway was moving away at rapid speeds. "Shit, shit, shit!", Spongebob yelled. He ran even faster, as the doorway slowly entered his sight, nearer and nearer. "Gotta make it, gotta make it...", he panted on, as he made one final leap and entered the door.

"Ah, so, you've made it at last," Spongebob was greeted.  
"You...", Spongebob said, as he gasped for breath.  
"Yes, it is I, in the flesh."  
"You... YOU! Do you have any idea what you've done?"  
"Oh, you're still pissed about your squid friend's death, yes?", said the tall manly figure, glancing down at Spongebob from high up in his chair. As he snapped his fingers, Squidward was revived.  
"Not funny, you dick!", Spongebob yelled.  
"Be grateful," IAMASEXYMAN replied.

Squidward rose his head up. "I'm... alive?", he asked. IAMASEXYMAN glared at him. "So, if it isn't the Squidward I wrote into being. Here, in the real world, confronting me. Why? Why do you wish to defy me?", IAMASEXYMAN asked. "Can it, you worthless little shit! You're a good for nothing writer, we deserve nothing that has happened to us!", Squidward yelled. IAMASEXYMAN let out a devious chuckle. "You're FICTIONAL. Who knows how badly it took for the fourth wall to fuck up and allow you to exit your crappy world. Do you think I care about what happens to you or your awful little friends?", IAMASEXYMAN asked, as he snapped his fingers again. Spongebob looked at Squidward, worried. Five seconds passed, and Spongebob started screaming. IAMASEXYMAN laughed as Squidward ran over to Spongebob, but then Spongebob literally exploded. Guts and blood flew everywhere, mostly covering Squidward. Squidward fell to his knees and looked down against the ground. He had lost Spongebob. The second Spongebob he had lost in his life. "THAT'S IIIIIIIIIIIT!", he yelled. Squidward took out his dick and used it as a sword against IAMASEXYMAN, who got up and took out a legit sword. He tried slicing Squidward's dick off, but Squidward's boner was so rock hard the sword shattered. "Wha? Hah, yeah, like a small little sword means much to me...", IAMASEXYMAN said, as he grew even taller. "I'll crush you!", he cheered as he raised his foot above Squidward and tried crushing it down on him. Squidward dodge and rolled over out of the way, and then climbed up onto IAMASEXYMAN's shoe. "Get off of me at once!", he yelled. Squidward climbed up IAMSEXYMAN's jeans, shirt, and up onto his shoulder. He tried reaching for Squidward, but he jumped out of the way and slashed his dick sword into IAMASEXYMAN's eye. IAMASEXYMAN's eye bled and the eye turned red as he screamed. He successfully grabbed Squidward and harshly threw him across the room, with an impact against the wall that nearly broke his back. Squidward fell to the ground painfully, as IAMASEXYMAN neared him, and snapped. Seconds passed as Squidward's heart raced. Nothing happened. "I... I DON'T UNDERSTAND!", IAMASEXYMAN yelled. Squidward smirked. He had defied the great text of the story and took control, and was now able to defeat his author. IAMASEXYMAN shrinked back to his normal size, while still a giant compared to Squiward, was now an easier foe. Squidward chaged towards him, and his sword-dick pierced through IAMASEXYMAN's foot, who screamed. Squidward hopped up and climbed up the clothes of IAMASEXYMAN once more, and then, tore into his chest with his sword-dick. "Good riddance, you stupid piece of shit!", he declared as he tore open IAMASEXYMAN's heart, finally killing him off.

And with his creator's defeat, Squidward slowly felt much greater pain as he rejoiced. He looked down, and noticed he was slowly fading away. "No, no, no, no, no! This can't be...", he said. The world around him started fading away must more rapidly, as he fully disappeared.

With the creator of the Squidward's Sexy Time universe defeated, that universe itself fully erased itself from existence, and with the collapse of one univere in the multiverse, all hell broke loose, as the balance of the multiverse fell apart, completely destroying itself, as everything to ever exist faded to a blank. Everything was over.

* * *

Author's Note: This is the final chapter before the crossover with IAMASEXYMAN's other series, _Kingdom Hearts 3_ starts. Go read that to catch up on the story or something.


End file.
